Neuroaffirming Therapy That Works

A lot of families aren’t looking for more theories they’re looking for something that works on a Tuesday night when everyone is overstimulated. We sit down with Calial McCarty, a child and family therapist and board certified autism specialist, to talk about what neuroaffirming therapy looks like when parents feel like they’ve “tried everything” and still end up in crisis.

We dig into autism, ADHD, pediatric mood challenges, and PDA (pathological demand avoidance), with a focus on the missing link in so much behavioral health care: translating good clinical ideas into real home practice. Calial explains how she uses parent coaching and PCIT-informed strategies to help caregivers build skills without awkward roleplay, and why simple language, visuals, and nervous system safety can change the whole tone of a household. We also talk about the harm families experience when providers invalidate them, and the mindset shift that helps both therapists and parents move away from one-size-fits-all expectations; all covered in her book Naturally Divergent.

Medical complexity comes up too because mental health and physical health don’t live in separate boxes. Calial shares how she supports families in advocating with doctors, staying careful about scope, and pushing for more collaboration across systems, including awareness of concerns like PANS/PANDAS when symptoms shift suddenly. We wrap with a look at Neurobloom Center, a new community-based hub designed to reduce silos and offer sensory-friendly supports, trusted providers, and inclusive spaces. 

If you found this helpful, subscribe, share the episode with a parent or clinician who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find neuroaffirming resources. What “rule” are you ready to drop to protect peace at home?

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello, folks. Thanks for joining us on Headside Mental Health Teaching Conversations about Mental Health and Substance Tech Street with experts, advocates, and professionals from across the country sharing their thoughts and insights on the world of behavioral health care, broadcasting on WPBM 1037, the voice of actual independent cover of free radio. I'm Todd Weatherly, your host, therapeutic consultant, and behavioral health expert, and with me today is Khalil McCarthy, a child and family therapist in Bellingham, Washington, there uh on the coast down from the Cascade Mountains, right? Um Master's Mental Health and Wellness and School Counseling from New York University as a board certified autism specialist at all. Khalil specializes in working with neurodiverse individuals, including those diagnosed with autism, ADHD, pediatric bipolar disorder, mood disorders, PDA, for those who don't know the pathological demand avoidance, and complex co-occurring conditions, including medical complexities, which we'll get into that a little bit later. Um, bringing expertise in behavioral analysis, developmental disabilities, trauma-informed care, and psychotherapy for children and adolescents up to age 17, who works with adults and families as well. Over the course of her career, she has worked across community agencies, court schools, wraparound services, and other mental health programs to some frustration, I imagine. Uh in her practice, she takes an eclectic, individualized approach rooted in connection and understanding, helping children youth and their families rebuild foundations and thrive. She is a strong believer in client voice, safety, and self-advocacy. Khalil has found that art, play, and storytelling are among the most powerful tools in her work, evidence-based modalities that meet kids where they are, and form the Foundation for Lasting Healing. On the horizon for Khalil, is also collaborating to open Neurobloom, a therapeutic center for the neurodivergent population there locally. That sounds very exciting. Khalil, thanks for joining us. Welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Yeah, thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Absolutely. Well, um, you know, I spend a lot of time in this world finding resources for people. So trying to find people like you for people who need them. Um a lot of times they're bouncing around the country because they're they're in crisis when they get to us and they're they're looking for residential care, those kinds of things, but then they have to have to land again. Um and then they have to they have to come back home. A lot of times, if you can, you also try to avoid going to treatment, but people wait long, as you've seen, they wait long enough to be in crisis because they didn't know what to do. And it sounds like part of your work is you're finding individuals when they're reaching the first initial stages of

Why Neuroaffirming Care Matters

SPEAKER_01 2:40

we don't know what to do anymore with our neurodivergent child. What is it that got you into that work in the first place? Like, how did you come into that?

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Yeah, um, yeah, you're right. Like they do, they end up reaching me kind of at that point. Um, or you know, they've they've seen so many professionals and they've had bad experiences, or um, they feel really invalidated by a lot of professionals they've seen and they don't know where to go next. Um, and I think what got me into this point was also like my own lived experience of feeling that same invalidation, like uh not only uh through seeing professionals for help for myself, but also for my kids, and just feeling like I want there to be someone out there who was providing services who didn't get met with those same reactions. Like I wanted to be able to be out there and help people and be that affirming resource, and not that I felt like I could go help everyone in the world, but I just I kept needing these resources that were so unhelpful, or like when my kids were diagnosed specifically uh as autistic, um, I just got this letter, was handed this folder, and then was like, you should probably go seek out ABA. And then they were like, bye. And I was like, wait, what what do I do next? Like, what do you think?

SPEAKER_03 4:09

What?

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Uh yeah, exactly. And I was like, uh, what? And I was just like, this is this is so not how this should go. And at that time I did have my my therapy license, but I didn't really have a niche. I was just getting into it, and I was like, I want to change this, I want to make this better. And so that was really how I got going. And um, you know, not actually knowing at that time that I was autistic, I just did my very autistic thing. And I just went into this deep dive. And all of a sudden, next thing I know, I have, you know, umpteen clock hours into, you know, uh autistic specializations and all of these other things. And I was, I was so I was so deep down that rabbit hole, and now I'm here.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Well, and you know, you kind of did what a lot of parents will do, is they'll dive into this rabbit hole. But, you know, you you had a license at the time, so at least you had a grounding and understanding, you know, clinical concepts and uh treatment in general and so on, um, which which helped you like, well, no, that's not what I'm looking for, and that sounds like what I'm looking for. Um, and these resources don't have enough, but this one over here, most people don't have that ability to differentiate. Uh, and they don't it it's hard for them to feel guided by dig diving into the internet. You know, we call it the Google consultant sometimes. Um what is it that you like how do you do that with families when they come to see you? When they so they're coming to you, right? And they're they're they're running into the bricks at home and they don't know what to do anymore. Mom, probably, it's usually mom, not always mom, but a lot of times it's mom that that is that has gone into the Google and they've you know somehow they've found you. How do you tell them about working with their child

Turning Advice Into Home Practice

SPEAKER_01 6:06

without overwhelming them with all the information that's out there about neurodivergence?

SPEAKER_00 6:11

Well, for the longest time I had like a resource sheet that I kind of like bullet pointed things um and broke it down. But I was tired of like reworking that over and over again. So actually last year I published a book. Um, and my book is called Naturally Divergent, and it kind of had like these main bullet points. Um, and it came out in September 2025. Um, but what I did in this book was I kind of took these like one-liners that I would tell families that really like took the meat of something that are these concepts that we do want to teach families that help them kind of bring these therapeutic processes and these evidence-based practices that help them actually apply them at home. Because I think that's one thing that um they would miss a lot is like they would get these these pieces of information and they wouldn't really understand the application at home. So they would hear like, oh, do this or do that, but like the the application was never really explained to them. And so it was a lot about how can I do this right now? How can I start this right now? So for instance, like with PDA specifically, like you said, the pathological demand avoidance, it's a very specific application. And if you do it any other way, literally you are going to set off your child's nervous system. Relevant wall. Uh-huh. Yeah. And so what I did in my book was I created this one-liner, and I literally call it Cleal's one-liner for success. And it's literally creating structure and um and like rules without that demand and rigidity that creates that uh set-off for the the nervous system. And so what it is, and I actually uh helped um the PDA North America organization create a little blog, and so you can actually read about it there too, um, is create this like visual for parents where what you're doing is you're creating a box that you're putting your kiddo in, and you allow them to work within the box and they have that freedom.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

They don't know they're in a box, but they don't know they're in a box exactly.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

But it's that safety, it's a safety net. But they get to work within the box and they feel free, and you feel safe as the parent because you know that they're not going to go outside of that box. And so these are the kinds of things that I feel like we have to break down as therapists or as doctors or whatever professional you are to truly help parents um or adults, uh, if you're trying to navigate your own needs, help them actually take what we're telling them and then apply it in their home.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

Yeah. I part of what has we've seen in advances in in residential care is one of the things that was a limitation of residential care was that you know they did really great, you know, kids did really great in residential care, right? Um but they couldn't take it home.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

You know, they they get home and they didn't, you know, they didn't know how to apply it. Parents didn't have any education. If you uh go to Prince Down, a lot of they're you know, there's a lot of parent involvement. They're using uh tools like having shared language, you know, how they name things, how they ask questions, how they do things, giving them the structure that they could work with and some practice using it as well. Uh so it's a you know, and it it's an incredibly valuable resource that I'm glad that you've created. I remember being in the field for the first time working with kids and being introduced to a processing model for how you you know ask questions and help kids make choices and redirect and so on. Um and it's an art. I mean, it really is an art. You know, there's a there's a structure to it, sure, but you gotta also, when you're at home, you gotta kind of live outside that structure a little bit, get creative, uh, kind of understand it in principle and practice, not just as a mechanism. And uh what are you able to do? Like, what are you doing in your work with families that allows them to that gets them to practice? Like what are you seeing and how are you getting them to practice and and what are the results looking like when they do?

Parent Coaching Without Awkward Roleplay

SPEAKER_00 10:30

Yeah. Um, I honestly incorporate that in like PCIT therapy. So that's the parent-child interactive therapy. And a lot of times when we think about it, we think of this as only play therapy, but I actually love to use it and incorporate it into something like what you're saying, where we actually kind of teach them how they're gonna do something like in a home environment. So, like if we're doing something and they are wondering, okay, how are we gonna incorporate this in the home? We can actually teach them in more of a natural way rather than like when, especially with teens, right? They feel like so awkward with the role play, right? And they're like, Oh, I'm not I don't want to role play. That's so awkward. And you're like, Yeah, of course, like that's so gross. Ew. And then, you know, if you if you agree with them, they're like, Yeah, and then they start doing something that they would do, right? Whether they're playing, I I love them to like this is gross, let me show you. Yeah, exactly. This is gross, let me show you. And so, like, if they have their, you know, their game on their phone or something, I'm like, here, show me a game you're playing on your phone. And so they start showing me a game they're playing on their phone, right? And then all of a sudden, I'll give a demand and I'll say, like, oh, can you switch to this game instead? And they're like, No, I hate that game. And then all of a sudden, I will literally demonstrate what we would want to do in the home, and I'll go through the flow chart and I will explain to the parent what we're doing. And the kid literally has no idea that we're showing it exactly as is. They think we're just having a conversation, and then I will hand it over to the parent. And if they say something that we don't want to do, that's that child, parent-child interactive therapy where I'm now coaching them through it. And so that's kind of how we do this. And the child is just kind of sitting there, like, I just want to play my game, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:24

You're using their their social processing limitations to your advantage, right? Exactly. Right. That's fantastic. Um, and you do you find any parents picking up on it? Like, how's that working? Do they they really are they coming home with story going home, coming back with stories like wow, this worked. Like, you know, like what's their what are the stories that are coming at you?

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Yes, yeah. And you know, I think this is part of like, you know, for the longest time, I kind of was made to feel like my autism, ADHD was kind of like not a strength. And, you know, that I shouldn't superpower.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 13:00

That I shouldn't tell people. And what I found is that the way that I explain things like this and I do it in practice, it's how my brain works. And I found that so many people have enjoyed it because exactly this, they'll come back and they'll go, thank you for explaining it like this. This is the first time I felt confident going home and doing this with my kids. And they come back and they say these things, and I go, okay, I feel like I explained it well enough that I was able to communicate this in a good way. And yeah, they come back and do this. And for the longest time, I didn't explain it this way. I did it the way I was taught in school, you know, or I was told that you're not supposed to use your your own, you're not supposed to talk about yourself too much, things like that. And it never felt right. I didn't feel like I got good feedback. And then I kind of started just doing it my way. And all of a sudden, this is where I'm getting the good feedback. I'm hearing that they were able to incorporate it in their home. They're coming back, giving me good stories. And so um I'm glad that I was able to kind of get over that piece a little bit and say, you know, I'm gonna do it the way that makes me feel more comfortable. And the more comfortable I felt, the better results I'm actually giving to the families and they're coming back, giving me good feedback, which means they're getting confident and feeling comfortable,

Clinical Discernment Over One-Size-Fits-All

SPEAKER_00 14:20

which makes it work.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Exactly. You know, yeah. Yeah. That that kind of brings me, you know, uh I see therapists and programs for that matter. Um so I got a couple of topics that I want to talk about that live on the fringes, which is um I got to see Stephen Hayes and he he sat there and uh sat there in front of like 500 clinicians and told them that their evidence-based practices were BS. It was hilarious. Um and I I thought it was great because I, you know, I I think research and and evidence-based practices uh it has value, right? Um just because you've been doing something a long time and studying it for a long time doesn't necessarily mean that it's a great practice. And it sounds like what you've done is taken a platform of what you think is reliable, of what we find is reliable evidence-based practice, right? But you've taken it to a level that is uh that is your own. That you've taken things that maybe you were even advised not to do as a young therapist. And now you're like, no, actually uh me telling a personal story is a good thing. And me making personalizing the care that I'm doing with this individual uh helps us share a connection, and that connection makes us effective. Uh what would you tell young therapists coming into the world? If you also talked about like uh you know bad services and bad care and people who have been traumatized by the care professionals that they've interacted with, what would you say to young therapists coming into the field about the field that they're coming into and and how to navigate it with some level of clarity, some level of discernment about the practice they're engaging in? What is it what's the advice you would give?

SPEAKER_00 16:04

I would say to them that there's a reason that every therapist is unique, and there's a reason there's so many of us out here because not every client is going to work for you and you aren't gonna work for every client. And if it isn't a good match, that's okay. And then I'm also gonna say that just because I did that with one client doesn't necessarily mean that would work for the next client. So maybe I might share a personal story because I know that that's going to work with one client, but maybe my next client, I know that sharing that personal story may not be the right thing. And I explain it completely differently with the next client because I understand that their type of learning is very different. And so I think it's all about really knowing your clients and asking them like the best ways that they learn, um, and really understanding how to make it truly affirming for each client you see. And I think one of the most harmful things that happens in our current education system all throughout is that idea that one size fits all. And this even happens, yeah, and this even happens when you go through school to get trained as a counselor, a therapist, which is that this is an evidence-based practice, this is the level, and this is how you do it. And you can't be doing that for each person that walks through your door. We can't give them the same type of therapy and do it the exact same way and deliver it the same way to every person. Because if we're going to truly be affirming, each person is literally going to be given something differently every time they walk through. And the same client is going to come and present differently every day they walk into you. And you have to be ready for that.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

Yeah. How did you how do you like how do you develop that kind of? I mean, you're talking about clinical discernment, right? Um, so what is it that helps a person clean you? I think part of clinical discernment is also there's a couple of things at the base, which is, you know, not that you don't have an ego, but you you get the ego out of the way. I might not be right for, you know, for a for for a therapist to admit you're not be, they might not be right for a person, or I need a different tool and I'm not sure what that is. Like to to have a question live in your mind, like I'm not sure where to go with this, and I need to find out more. Like, how do you how did you get to the place where you cultivated that level of discernment in your practice?

SPEAKER_00 18:44

I had an amazing professor that I got to be with in a lot of my trauma courses when I was at NYU. Um, and she like literally every time we were in class would remind us that um, you know, again, there are tons of therapists out there for a reason. And there's no way that you can help every person in this field, and you need to remember that even though you came into this field because you want to help everybody, that if you ever tried to do that, you would run yourself into the ground. And if you do that, you're not a good therapist.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

And you might run you might run them into the ground too, you know. So, right.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

And so she would say that all the time, and it helped because yes, I, you know, I'm a big softie. Uh of I'm always gonna say I have room for more, right? Like that is definitely one of my downfalls. And it's something that I have to constantly remind myself. And something that I do just as a personal check is that if I have anxiety, and that's a good kind of anxiety with a client, I need to do that self-check of like, am I working with this

Medical Complexity And Breaking Silos

SPEAKER_00 20:00

person in a good capacity? Because if not, we're not a good fit.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Right. Absolutely. Well, um, it just sounds like staying grounded, you know, in your professional practices really, and you've gotten good guidance along the way in getting that done. The the other topic that I want to bring up, because this is something we see uh on our side of things as well, and something where people have gotten disappointing responses from other care providers, which is uh addressing medical complexities. When you've got, you know, you've got a client, you've got a child, family, and the child has maybe they have a diagnosis, maybe it's uh you know, they're on the spectrum, maybe they have ADHD or both or what have you, but they've also got these other co-occurring, you know, pretty significant medical conditions. Um and maybe it's a thyroid issue, or or maybe I mean, heck, for you know, adults who got maybe it's a mess, or maybe it's uh these things that impact a person's mental health. You know, they just do. Uh how do you incorporate um like that into your practice? One of the things that we see is everybody runs in silos, so the medical doesn't talk to the psychological, and vice versa. So finding a practitioner that can really kind of look at it all and be like, well, you know, this condition actually causes these things. How did you start incorporating that into your practice and and what does that look like?

SPEAKER_00 21:22

Yeah, I mean, uh, you know, obviously I'm not a doctor, so I don't have medical training exactly, but I've done I've done a lot of trainings that talk about, you know, how they're connected. And I do have a lot of, you know, what we call like clock hours, right? Where we really look at how they connect, as you said, and how they really are intertwined. Um, there's a lot of new information out lately about how um neurodivergent neurotypes have a very different medical makeup. Um, and how it really changes uh the dynamic and what's going on with them. Um, and so that is something that I've really been continuing to discuss. Um, you know, the way that we really look at it is if parents are telling me, you know, that they're seeing these symptoms, I really encourage them and help them advocate for just working with their doctors. Uh, I let them know, hey, like let's just look at these things. I give them information. Um, if they feel like they're not being heard by their doctor, I just help them like with information that they could advocate for. Um, I help them with sending them articles, things that they could show their doctor. You know, again, I really do make sure to be careful of how I'm walking that line. I don't want them to be.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

Yeah. But uh, you know, at the same time, like as mental health professionals, we still get to advocate and help them. Um, I do very much try to stay connected with their doctor. I really try to, you know, be that person that can help connect a little bit and provide information if possible. Um, you know, there's a lot of connection with pans and pandas with young kids. And so when we're doing assessments for young children, um, and we're looking at like the sudden onset of symptoms around OCD, like, you know, there's a lot more connection that we need to do around that. And so those are things that we've been um really focused on lately. And so I think that there's a lot more connection, especially around children, that us mental health professionals, psychiatric providers, and doctors have been doing, especially when we're looking at assessments. And I think that's why the mental health professionals, especially like in our state here, have been uh advocating for more connection when it does come to diagnosing.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Well, I mean, I think that's the largest problem people face when they don't when they get inadequ inadequate care, is that, you know, one, you've got providers who are not really good at their job, that happens, right? Especially state systems. I mean, honestly, that's where we see a lot of it. Uh hospitals and state systems. But more importantly, you also see that they are their silo, they don't you've got teams of people that are treating a person. You've got a psychiatrist, you got a doc, you got a therapist, uh, and and that's a team, uh, and they're not talking to one another. The advantage that you see in treatment is that you've got all those people actually talking to one another all the time. And parents also feel like they have a voice when they're talking to the providers and they're saying, well, you know, we've got this. You know, and for a psychiatrist that's not talking to the medical doctor, especially if there's a co-curring medical issue. Uh there are a lot of psychiatrists out there who just dump meds on kids. You know, they're they're they're symptom chasing. That's what they're doing. It's like when they're depressed or they're or they're anxious or they're you know, have ADHD and they're all over the place. It's like, let's give them something to calm down, let's get them something to stir up, let's get them something to concentrate, let's do all of those things at once. And suddenly you've got a 16-year-old and it's eight minutes. And and you know, that alone will give you some medical conditions if you don't have to account for it. So I think that we we it it sounds to me like you and I would agree on this statement that we're that in a in an ideal world we'd be a lot more intentional and a lot more collaborative in our approach to care. Um which kind of brings me to this the center

Neurobloom’s Mission And Care Team

SPEAKER_01 25:30

that you're opening. I'm very your website does not do you justice. You've got a book out there, you're opening a center, like there's all these cool things that you're doing. And I had no idea. So now I want to ask a little bit about Neurobloom. The center that you it's open, it's about to open. Where where are you at on the stage just for that?

SPEAKER_00 25:51

Yeah, we're our grand opening is September 19th. Um and we're uh when I say we, it's it's family-owned. So it's me and my husband, and we're really, really excited. Um it's uh it's a I guess that my my brain child. Um, I'm so excited about it. Um, and so it's kind of it'll have providers. So we have an amazing SLP joining us who's a feeding specialist um in office. We have myself and then another mental health specialist who also specializes in special education needs. Um, and then we're gonna have a women's practitioner ARNP coming in. Um and then we're on the lookout for prescribers. Uh we need we need a couple to come on in. We're still looking for a unicorn prescriber. So if you know of anyone, let me know. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:53

Um so you're you've got the complement of medical, you've got psychiatric, you've you're you're looking for psychiatric, you're looking for a prescriber, you've got clinicians, you're you're you're building something that's breaking down these silo walls that we're talking about.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

Yes, yeah. And this is also, you know, to stop that kind of that pipeline of sending out disabled and or neurodivergent individuals to places where they don't exactly know the mission or values of those providers. And then we end up sending them out and they get traumatized. And so we're also hoping to kind of stop that that chain as well, right? Where they know the type of providers they're seeing. They know that they share the values of you know, they're neuroaffirming, they have backgrounds in either neurodivergence, disability, LGBTQ, IA, F2 Plus, like they have all of those needs. And so they they know who they're gonna see. Um, they're trusted providers, they're they're vetted, right? Um, and so that's kind of what we can provide for them. Um, and then the community center part, um, we're gonna have a sensory gym. So this is like all the equipment you would see at like an occupational therapist or or a physical therapist, right? So like sensory swings, um, gym equipment, uh like if you really like your body being squeezed, we have like different uh equipment that squeezes your body. Or if you like to go and do sensory play, we're gonna have like an area where there's water tables, sand tables, um, ways to explore sensory in your own avenue. Um, and so we have different setups for different age and uh and movement capabilities. Um and it's gonna also make it so that there aren't tons of people around. There's hour signups. So like we're gonna have about 15 people um per area per hour. So that's that's

Sensory Spaces Library Fitness Cafe

SPEAKER_00 28:50

kind of so that we can keep the visual noise, the actual loud noises down. Uh, we have a game room where there's gonna be like a pool table and tech so people can play on computers, DSs, those kinds of things. And then we're gonna have a library. So there's gonna be two avenues for the library. You can just sit there, read, lend the books that we have, and then there's also gonna be a purchasing where we're bringing in marginalized authors, marginalized resources where like you can't get these books at Barnes and Noble and everything because they don't highlight uh resources for neurodivergent, disabled, LGBTQIA plus uh resources. And we're gonna have those all there from authors who are part of these groups that don't get their books published at, or I mean held at they don't sit on the shelves at Barnes and Noble with the 50% off and the big table, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:44

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

Exactly. And so we're gonna have those there and they can grab them and buy them and uh they'll be easily accessible. And our entire uh we'll also have a fit like a gym, a fitness, a workout place just to keep your body healthy, and it'll have equipment that's ADA accessible, as well as, you know, things for individuals like um, you know, if you if you were a Down syndrome, um it's hard to go work out at our local gyms. They don't have equipment that's specially made for somebody who might just want to work on their muscle tone or things like that. Um, and it also sometimes can be just intimidating. Um, that's what I've heard feedback from some of our population.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Overs stimulating. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Overstimulate, yes, the lights. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

Um it's overstimulating to me. I mean, you know.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

Shame, shame. And so we're just gonna create a little bit better environment, more inclusive, really just have our individuals of our community really built at the center. Um, and then my personal favorite, we're gonna have a very small cafe, just coffee and some baked goods. And these baked goods are celiac friendly because I have celiac disease, and there's nowhere in our area I can eat. And so we're gonna have like, yes, we are gonna have cinnamon rolls. We are gonna have um some muffins, bagels, and I am freaking excited about that.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

You're just doing this so you have a cafe you can go to, right?

SPEAKER_00 31:11

Exactly. I'm just doing this this whole center, it's just so I can eat cinnamon rolls.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

Right. That's a that's a good, I mean, you know, that's a good cause, I think. Eating cinnamon rolls, that's a good cause.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

Well, that's really exciting for you. I'm I'm you know, when I get out that way, I hope to look, you know, I know you you're you're just across the you're just across the water from Victoria, Canada, if I'm not mistaken, or BC rather. Yeah. Yes, yeah. Um and I plan a trip out that way. Uh I get to Washington, I don't know, once, maybe twice a year if I can. There's a few programs out that way that we take a look at, but I'll I'll I'll I'll steer it towards the time when you're gonna be opening the center, so we'll have to stay in touch about that. Uh the question I have Oh yeah, man, I I like going out and seeing people's like cool new stuff and uh you know, the sensory rooms and things like that. It's pretty neat. Um the so you know if you were uh you know, you you were for you're a parent. You got a you got a child that's on the spectrum, you have experience with living on the spectrum yourself. Um uh in the so you had some grounding experientially in the neurodivergent world, which gave you probably to a certain extent some advantages uh in navigating it when you were finding care. When you've got a parent, if you've got a parent out there, just you know, for the listeners, um you got a parent out there that's on the that's on the fringes of identifying what's going on with

Parent Advice Let Go Of Norms

SPEAKER_01 32:40

their child, determining that they are on the spectrum, uh, or they've got a you know, they've got a condition that that requires care, that requires help and support. Um they're kind of doing the I don't know what to do now thing. What's advice you would give to that parent?

SPEAKER_00 32:59

It's hard to pick like just one, but I think I think honestly, like the first thing I would do, because what happens I think the most is that our our kids that are you know diagnosed autistic when we are struggling the most is when we are forcing not only ourselves but our kids to do things that are not natural to their own system because we're trying to fit into social norms. So I think what I would say is follow your child's lead and follow your own lead. Do what is more natural to them and you. Like, for instance, a really great example is if dinner time is like really chaotic and stressful, and it's easier to not have like everybody sitting at the table and you guys are like eating staggered, or someone's eating on the couch and someone else is eating in the kitchen because you guys don't like hearing each other chew, uh do it. It's okay. Like it's it's protect your peace because that's way more important than going to a friend's house on Saturday and saying that you all had a quality dinner time. Like I think that's what um I end up talking to parents about most. Yeah, like that's what I think I end up talking to families about most is letting go of the societal expectations or doing it how you grew up or how you expected it to go. And I'm not saying that letting go of those things is easy or it like feels natural. Um but I would say that that's the first go-to is that whatever you think you're bat or feels like a battle, don't battle it anymore. Let it go. It's it's okay.

unknown 35:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

I mean, it's a it's a choice you battles things, but I think you're also talking about the breaking down societal norms and deciding what's actually important um and deciding what you want the outcome to be. The outcome is, you know, I want to I want as healthy and happy a child as I can have. I want you know I want to I want my home to be a place of refuge. You know, I want to be able to rest in my own home. And if if you're if you're trying to put the square peg in round holes and it's making your home you know, unstable and and not a place of refuge, uh then maybe you need to rethink the entire equation for a second. Exactly. And, you know, just because you did it as a kid doesn't necessarily mean that you could, you know. And maybe you negotiate. And maybe you want to have the family at the table one night a week. And everybody can like they can work it out for one night a week. Um or you know, I think that it requires people to get creative. I really do. They say they haven't written a book about it. It's like, well, there's lots of books out there, but it doesn't land, but it you know, it's hard to take a book and land it in practice in the home, just like you're, you know. So you've got to get creative. I'd say the other thing is get help. Like find somebody like Khalil and and and have her guide you through what to do. Like don't be afraid to get help. I think we're better at it now as a society, but you know, so many people just don't go get help. They like, oh no, it's fine, we're gonna handle it on our own, right? Until it really starts becoming more than they can handle. I'm like, don't start there. If you see it's

How To Find Khalil Book And Closing

SPEAKER_01 36:40

becoming a problem, like talk to somebody about it, find resources, get involved, and that sort of thing. And you know, on that note, like, are you I know you say you don't say no. Are you taking clients right now? How do people like how do people find you? How do they how do they connect with you? What's this what's the story on families needing your services and how to get with you?

SPEAKER_00 37:02

Yeah, um, I know. I I really don't say no for the most part. Um, I guess I can say like I'm always taking clients, right? Um they can find me. Um I I'm on social media, that always works. That seems to be really easy for families. So on Instagram, uh my handle is at Naturally Divergent Therapist, or you can find me on my website too. Um, and that's at www.mcartytherapy solutions.com. And that's pretty easy. You can just send me a quick uh contact message and I get back to you pretty quickly on those too.

SPEAKER_01 37:40

And the center is opening September, you say that's that that's the grand opening date.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Yes, seems pretty solid.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

You'll let us know.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

Yep. Nope, that is our official day. We have some amazing speakers coming too. Like I feel so grateful. We've got some amazing speakers. And if you want to follow um the updates on our center, we have a website for the center as well. It's www.uhneurobloomcenter.com and then also on our uh Instagram as well. And we're posting updates constantly for that. And you can check out our speakers and all that. It's yeah, it's gonna be pretty awesome.

SPEAKER_01 38:19

Now, is your book also out there in the ethers? Can they find it on, you know, yes, whatever you buy things from?

SPEAKER_00 38:26

Yeah, if you can find it on whatever platforms, it's also uh it just released about a month ago or so uh for audiobook as well. So you can find it in audiobook form. I know I'm an audiobook person, so I was really happy when we did that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

Who reads it for you?

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Yeah, so I actually had somebody else read it for me. Um her name is yeah, uh, her name is Melina Brinker, and uh it's really great because I was tired of my own voice, so I had somebody else do it. I was like, you guys don't need to hear me talk anymore. Um, and she's absolutely wonderful, and she reads her own special note at the beginning. And honestly, like I didn't know she was gonna do that. It was a surprise, and it really was touching for me. So that was really special. Yeah. Um, but yeah, so you can find that on uh audio bing uh audio book links, and um yeah, it's it's also available on Amazon too for places that need it to be shipped pretty far. Um, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

And the book is naturally divergent, right?

SPEAKER_00 39:31

Mm-hmm. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

Awesome. Well, Khalil, it's been really fantastic having you on the show. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me and us navigate the time difference and everything else. I I can't wait to hear about the opening to maybe come out there and see you folks and uh and uh have some fun while we're out there. But um I really appreciate what you're doing in the community that's been headed by Mental Health with Todd Weatherly and Will Hardy has been our guest. Will thanks for having us. Thanks for being on the show.

SPEAKER_00 40:01

Yeah, thank you so much.